Pay Me

Do I believe in New Year’s Resolutions?

Not particularly, and not, as you may think, because I can’t keep one, thank you very much. I don’t believe in them because I think it is an easy way to vaguely opt for healthier behavior(s) and give up on these resolutions just as vaguely and easily. Since most resolutions are broken (gross generalization, I know – write in if your experience is different), it is almost acceptable, if not expected, to break them.  Having said this, I am re-examining my goals for this year which include writing more and getting paid more to do so. Pretty basic, yes? Well, to that end I am restructuring my days and it is not an easy task (goodbye bon-bons and Oprah!). Just kidding!

Really, it is much more challenging to work from home than I realized. Distractions abound, from laundry to repair people to friends calling for lunch dates, sure, getting the kids places is easier but being distracted by children is a constant. Maybe an example will help.

Me: writing something on the desktop in the kitchen, child looking in fridge for a snack “Mom, where is the peanut butter?”

Me, matter-of-factly, “On the door of the fridge.”

Child, plaintively,  “No, it’s not.”

Me. patiently, “Look again, honey.”

Child, surprised,  “Oh. I found it!”

Me, wearily, “sigh” or something like that.

Really, do pay me.

I have an excellent work ethic and a decent sense of humor and most of all, I am modest.

My mother said I came out of the womb reading but she exaggerates and I really didn’t read until before Kindergarten (that may have been the last time I over-achieved). I was initially disappointed that Kindergarten involved things other than just reading (which, btw, I had been promised it was reading all day every day – that is why I agreed to go). I kind of got over it but it took a while.

wrote, I mean, edited papers for school for sibling and friends for years and they all got better grades than I did.  I have an excellent vocabulary and although I don’t look like it I can swear like a stevedore, no offense to longshoremen intended. My favorite word is antediluvian and my favorite phrase is flagrant disregard as in “flagrant disregard of human rights” (which my college roommate and I managed to work into every paper we wrote because we thought it was fun to do – nerd or geek, you make the call) although disregarding human rights is not being suggested, implied or sanctioned.

I have inhaled books for forty something years and I am a fast reader (so much so that my husband – then boyfriend – did not believe I was really reading that fast so would quiz me on books that I claimed to have read). Yes, I passed. Phew, huh?

My family gives me books for my birthday every year. I like that. I will read, review, regurgitate – no, I stop at that.

Capability Brown was a real person

He was a landscape architect in the 1700’s who got his nickname because he used the word capabilities instead of possibilities. I am a stay at home mother who loves books, food and my children, my husband and our dog.  I am good at finding information, cleaning and, I, for one, think I am funny. I am also resoundingly capable if not often flustered. I have wonderful friends who are supportive, honest and kind.

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